Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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