what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
