She announced her abortion via fbk
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
