You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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