Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
