I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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