so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Shame - the story of my life.
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