every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
