i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
