Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
