lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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