Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
