There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
