I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
