I am midnight drunk by noon
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
