Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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