His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
