i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Redeem this text for a blowjob
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
organizing the empties. That sober.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
