If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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