Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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