That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
