my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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