...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
