Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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