my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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