She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
