Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
