physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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