I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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