have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
