This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
