All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
