Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
