Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I believe in your delicious
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
