i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
