i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
