I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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