guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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