I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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