I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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