i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
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