You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
