That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
