There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
