just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I cut my penus on the lid.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
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