I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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