Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
