This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
