I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You did what with his pubic hair?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
