final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
