Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
