party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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