I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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