my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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