I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
you made out with another girl for some wings
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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