But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Someone shit on the floor
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
