I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
