i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
