Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I won't apologize to a one balled man
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
