Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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