Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
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Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
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You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
as a side note pls kill me
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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