when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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